I am not a proud cook.
Nor necessarily a decent cook.
I can only cook by a recipe and I rarely deviate from the exact directions.
And my photo skills are exceedingly lacking.
I'm certain most everyone who reads this here blog agrees with this assessment.
It's in that vain, that I am going to show you the floppy mcflop recipes and pictures that never made it onto this super professional, top-notch, high quality, almost award-winning blog.
These recipes and pictures never made it here because the pictures are embarrassingly bad and some of the recipes are not that groovy.
And remember, I have no shame :)
Nor necessarily a decent cook.
I can only cook by a recipe and I rarely deviate from the exact directions.
And my photo skills are exceedingly lacking.
I'm certain most everyone who reads this here blog agrees with this assessment.
It's in that vain, that I am going to show you the floppy mcflop recipes and pictures that never made it onto this super professional, top-notch, high quality, almost award-winning blog.
These recipes and pictures never made it here because the pictures are embarrassingly bad and some of the recipes are not that groovy.
And remember, I have no shame :)
Let's start with one of my favorite foods; chicken.
Cluck, cluck. (It is a chicken that goes cluck isn't it?)
Let's observe several of my attempts at cooking a whole chicken.
I rock with cooking whole chickens but my photo skills do not indicate this. For some reason, my whole chickens always have meat missing off the legs. Two different times. Why? And they look unappetizing.
Cluck, cluck. (It is a chicken that goes cluck isn't it?)
Let's observe several of my attempts at cooking a whole chicken.
I rock with cooking whole chickens but my photo skills do not indicate this. For some reason, my whole chickens always have meat missing off the legs. Two different times. Why? And they look unappetizing.
See the meat missing off the right leg back in August?
It didn't photograph well and looked weird. Although it was tasty.
A few months later, the left leg on this chicken is missing it's meat.
Again, this picture is not appealing at all.
And the bottom of the chicken...Uh, I think we can all agree it looks rather uncomfortable, yes?
Again, this picture is not appealing at all.
And the bottom of the chicken...Uh, I think we can all agree it looks rather uncomfortable, yes?
So we move onto more chicken.
This recipe is for Beer Braised Chicken Thighs.
Truly tasty but the pictures looks like the mysterious food that hangs out in the back bottom shelf of my fridge for decades.
This recipe is for Beer Braised Chicken Thighs.
Truly tasty but the pictures looks like the mysterious food that hangs out in the back bottom shelf of my fridge for decades.
My eyesight is not what it used to be, that's the only excuse I have for sloppy looking plates.
And what is it with me plopping bread on every plate in every picture?
Clearly I have a starch fetish. Believe it or not, this picture was the best one of this dish.
Sometimes I make a dish that does not have much taste and is disappointing, such as this marinara from a food network tv person thingie.
The photograph is not so bad but the marinara was tasteless.
The photograph is not so bad but the marinara was tasteless.
I'd taste good if only I had some more salt, pepper, basil, oregano, wine and thyme added.
And Mama's Lasagna from the Neelys of Food Network was pretty excellent, really tasty in fact
but my picture lacked, uh, shall we say, appetizing value.
Seriously, what is my issue with plopping bread on EVERYTHING? It's almost like a crime, a bread felony or something. Lord, I need rehab for bread idiots!
I will say that this whole lasagna pan picture is a slightly better photo than the individual slice from above. In fact, I liked this recipe so much, I'm going to share the link:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/neelys/mamas-lasagna-recipe/index.html
OH! OH! OH! This one is not my fault,
pinky swear!
Yeah, so late at night, we (by "we" I mean "I") got an itch that needed scratched in the way of I WAS STARVING FOR BAKED CHICKEN WINGS!
BINGO!
I had some wings in the freezer, 4 lbs had just been purchased fresh from the meat counter a few days earlier.
Fantastic! Awesome! I can't believe my luck at 11:00 at night! Woo Hoo!!
I defrost all four pounds, throw open the packaging to begin washing the wings and this is what I found.
Now you tell me, do these look weird to you?
pinky swear!
Yeah, so late at night, we (by "we" I mean "I") got an itch that needed scratched in the way of I WAS STARVING FOR BAKED CHICKEN WINGS!
BINGO!
I had some wings in the freezer, 4 lbs had just been purchased fresh from the meat counter a few days earlier.
Fantastic! Awesome! I can't believe my luck at 11:00 at night! Woo Hoo!!
I defrost all four pounds, throw open the packaging to begin washing the wings and this is what I found.
Now you tell me, do these look weird to you?
Really? Really? The dude didn't notice THERE WAS NO MEAT? Really?
EVERY.SINGLE.WING but two had the meaty drummie part removed. EVERYONE BUT TWO!
So basically, in a nutshell, to be more clear, and my blood pressure is rising as I type this, I had four pounds of nuttin' to cook!!!
Really, could the meat dude not see this when he was scooping up FOUR POUNDS of chicken wings for me?
So basically, in a nutshell, to be more clear, and my blood pressure is rising as I type this, I had four pounds of nuttin' to cook!!!
Really, could the meat dude not see this when he was scooping up FOUR POUNDS of chicken wings for me?
We interrupt this blog to bring you the following...
YAY!!!! Rainbows and Unicorns and Cheesecake,
DOUBLE YAY!!!!
DOUBLE YAY!!!!
Okay. All better now.
Let me show you something that I did make that was amazing but I only took one completed picture and no pictures of the process.
Heirloom Tomato Pizza with a rustic wheat pizza crust.
Yum!
I'm saving the best horribly unappetizing picture for last. Try not to upchuck your cookies.
...
...
...
...
Turkey Cassoulet
This is the photo of the whole dish served on a platter.
This was just taken last week!
Although the dish was tasty, this picture is totally unappetizing!
Once again, this was the best picture of the dish. *sigh*
This is the photo of the whole dish served on a platter.
This was just taken last week!
Although the dish was tasty, this picture is totally unappetizing!
Once again, this was the best picture of the dish. *sigh*
I plated it up to see if I could make it look more appealing.
I couldn't.
Dang!
Well I giggled at a lot of these craptastic pictures while I was posting them.
Well, I giggled between the shuddering anyway.
Hope you weren't too grossed out and giggled or shuddered too :)
Have a great day and talk at ya soon!!!
